*If potty stories in ANY WAY offend you, you may want to come back tomorrow :)
A Letter to my Daughters which will be read to them at the most appropriate time later on in life. Date and Appropriate time to be determined.
Brooke and Caroline,
Well ladies, you have officially disgusted me to the up most level. I do not think that there is much you could do to top this. If so, please refrain because I don't think that I could handle it.
Today, while you were playing so pleasantly downstairs, Brooke decided to tell me that I needed to clean her foot because, "it was disgusting." I was on the phone having a lovely chat with your Grandma Mary Anne when I had to abruptly ended our conversation. I saw that you had poop on your foot. Since you had just used the bathroom I couldn't believe this was occurring.
I ran over to where you had been sitting, Brooke. There I found more lovely poop that I was going to have the pleasure of cleaning up. All the while you were in my ear yelling for me to clean you up because, "it is SO DISGUSTING."
Tell me about it dear.
As I scanned the perimeter of the room, I saw that you sister Caroline was far enough away not to disturb the awfulness that laid there. I darted up the steps and grabbed my diaper bag that had wipes inside. I ran back downstairs in a mater of 7 seconds.
Who knew that Caroline was the fastest crawler in the mid west.
Within those 7 seconds, you my dear Caroline, had decided that what Brooke had left was a treasure...and one that should be tasted. Oh yea baby, you totally went for it...to my HORROR.
I immediately cleaned your mouth and everything surrounding the "situation." I didn't know whether to laugh, cry or gag. I may have done all three.
Then I remembered you, Brooke. Who was still crying (now loudly) for me to, "clean my REALLY GROSS foot!" Well, no offense love but my response was that, "the ONLY person that was allowed to cry right now is Caroline."
Caroline, I was totally feeling for you girl. Sometimes being the younger one is hard.
Into the tub you both went. And sorry Brooke, we will have to buy you a new toothbrush. Emergency called and Caroline had to borrow.
After a few phone calls to family and friends I was assured that a call to the doctor was not necessary. Thanks goodness. No one wants to have to explain THAT one to the doctor.
Thank you girls. You never fail to make my days and lives interesting. I hope that one day you too will find this as humorous as I am SURE I will :)
Love,
Mom